i've had the privilege and pleasure of hanging out with the south asian/desi queers of montréal these last few weeks -- and more importantly, dancing with them. and i've made an important discovery.
now, i love to dance as well as any lead singer from future islands or tiny dream man from twin peaks, but can i bollywood dance? absolutely not. it turns out there's one move that absolutely works in the bollywood context tho, a move i had never tried but knew very well from years of obsessive DEEP SPACE NINE watching: the bajoran clap.
there are so many uses for the bajoran clap, and so many ways to pull it off. the hands up in the air bajoran clap, the side to side bajoran clap, the over one shoulder and then the other bajoran clap, the politely rhythmic (or vigorously enthusiastic) applause between tracks bajoran clap, or even the rapidly fluttering hummingbird bajoran clap. the bajorans may have a reputation for being traditional, perhaps even dogmatic... but the bajoran clap is versatile as all hell and should not be underestimated.
*dances with bajoran claps*
DEEP SPACE NINE
people say THE NEXT GENERATION doesn't get good till riker has a beard, which is absurdly incorrect -- riker gets his beard in season two and TNG doesn't get good until season three. but you know what show does get good in season two? DEEP SPACE fucking NINE.
the writers figure out who the characters are -- to the point where it almost seems like bashir and dax were having a gas leak year in season one. the real stories start developing, and the standalone episodes are much more memorable. and perhaps most importantly, avery brooks is figuring out who sisko is and what makes him tick... and "the sisko" finally begins to be the anchor of DS9, starting his journey of being the most compelling captain and lead in STAR TREK history.
which brings us to the excellent season three, and the episode FASCINATION.
i remembered this episode as a fun one, but it didn't particularly stand out otherwise... but this is the first time i've seen it after years of obsessively rewatching the series, listening to podcasts, watching cast/writer interviews, and enjoying all of the delightful and delicious queer fanart. and... this has to be the most tumblr-coded hour of DEEP SPACE NINE ever created.
it wasn't particularly well received when it came out, and i don't see many people rushing to revise that initial impression... so let's list the things that make FASCINATION an 10/10 episode.
• it's a farcical sex comedy where everyone is pairing with and lusting after the wrong person.
• the entire cast gets to participate, with the lovely bonus of lwaxana and keiko (and molly). we're only missing nog, rom, and leeta -- but of course, it's a little early in the series for that.
• and not only does the entire cast participate, we get that comforting staple of any long running television series -- the last act is a party, and everyone must attend.
• director avery brooks getting the absolute best over the top, committed, comedic performances out of his cast.
• director avery brooks also getting the best out of his crew -- gorgeous (colorful!) lighting, sweeping camera moves, exceptional transitions between scenes, and incredible fucking costumes... and did you catch sisko's stunning arms in his party outfit??
• odo's first kiss.
• the absolute hilarious image of cuck vedek bareil (no offense, we're all cucks) punching sisko and sisko being completely unaffected while exasperatedly deflecting the attack.
• nana visitor and alexander siddig lustily making out the way i can only assume they were doing in real life, too.
• jake sisko. that's it, that's the bullet point.
• the episode ends with the betrothal of the real marriage of DEEP SPACE NINE -- bashir and o'brien.
cheers to everyone involved in creating this brilliant, escapist hour of television that was so good i had to watch it twice in a row. apparently the next episode is the PAST TENSE two-parter? i can't seem to remember what that one is about, i hope it's as fun as FASCINATION was!
BATTLESTAR GALACTICA
aka STAR TREK with more frakking and cursing
"is this the shape of things to come?"
at some point over the last few months when i was supposed to be job hunting i watched all of BATTLESTAR GALACTICA, which i don't think i've really done since soon after it finished airing.
first of all, this show has the best score of all time. thanks, bear.
second of all, okay, the cast is very white in a way that didn't stand out back when it aired but stands out a lot now.
but it's still a great frakking series, from beginning to end. none of the side movies or webisodes are necessary, though i watched them all. the miniseries and four seasons are all that matters, and tell an absolutely incredible scifi/religious epic from beginning to end.
it was also interesting to watch as an adult. i mean, i was an adult the first time too, but virginal and with very little life experience. now i've frakking lived, lived messily, lived tumultuously, frakked more than i ever thought i would, made good and terrible decisions, and dealt with the true and deep despair of having to keep going after people i love have died. and BATTLESTAR GALACTICA felt more true and honest about humans and our mostly frakked up, occasionally beautiful existence than ever.
DEEP SPACE NINE: A STITCH IN TIME
i decided to buy the e-book of andrew robinson's out of print novel... and literally days later the audiobook as read by the author was announced. thanks for that one, universe.
so of course i deleted my dumb, worthless PDF and waited to purchase the audiobook as soon as i could. i'm not even deep into it, so i can't talk about the content of the novel... all i can say is hearing andrew robinson read it as garak is an absolute fucking pleasure. his voice is so mellifluous that i keep hitting rewind and listening to him read certain passages over and over. i can't wait to get through it... and also don't want it to end.
i know novels are in that grey area, but there's no way garak obsessively writing letters to julian after the events of DEEP SPACE NINE isn't 100% fucking canon.
PICARD
in retrospect, what PICARD did by discarding its original cast feels pretty cheap and gross, no? i didn't love the first two seasons as they aired, but after the overwhelming nostalgia-fest of the TNG reunion season, the first two seasons of PICARD at least had their own (admittedly bizarre) identity and style. i look forward to rewatching them eventually. and yes, i'll probably rewatch the TNG reunion season too because i adore that cast and always wanted them to have their final movie... but i don't think that cheap feeling of "corporate nostalgia content" will ever go away. and no, i still don't fucking want STAR TREK LEGACY. ew.
STRANGE NEW WORLDS (+ LOWER DECKS)
another wholly average season in the can with an utterly unserious cliffhanger we probably won't see a resolution to for two years! hooray!
i won't rant about things i didn't like, and even in the bad/boring episodes the cast and production values are often top notch. here's what i loved.
TOMORROW AND TOMORROW AND TOMORROW // it would have been hard for me to not love this episode. first of all, an incredible showcase for christina chong and probably the entire reason la'an is now my favorite character on the show. next, it's basically a STAR TREK movie taking place and entirely shot (with such beautiful exteriors!) in my hometown of toronto. but most importantly, they fixed a giant hole in the STAR TREK canon unapologetically caused by INTO DARKNESS... they made khan brown again! thank you, terrible writers of SNW for this one beautiful little correction.
CHARADES // i mean, clearly SNW should just be a comedy, right? they're better at it. shoutout to canadian royalty mia kirshner for her return as amanda grayson, and i hope we haven't seen the last of t'pring because the chemistry between her and spock is far more evident than spock/chapel.
SUBSPACE RHAPSODY // i wish the songs were a little more modern and a little less musical throwback-y, but i adore the commitment, style, and skill that went into creating this on all fronts. just like with DEEP SPACE NINE's FASCINATION, this was every department firing on all cylinders. i was lucky enough to catch celia rose gooding in JAGGED LITTLE PILL on broadway before the pandemic, and to see her show off all her talent in both the big closing numbers of the episode was ecstatic.
they took advantage of almost every opportunity except one... why didn't they include gene roddenberry's shoddy yet astounding lyrics to the STAR TREK theme in the opening credits???
THOSE OLD SCIENTISTS // obviously, this was fucking perfection from top to bottom. best episode of the season, and maybe the first truly great STAR TREK episode from SNW. tawny newsome and jack quaid killed it on every single level, even despite the idiotic staff of SNW apparently thinking boimler is the lead of LOWER DECKS, not mariner. (typical.) the animated segments that somehow mixed the styles of LOWER DECKS and STRANGE NEW WORLDS were gorgeous, and the animated opening titles were actually better than the normal opening credits because the enterprise actually felt like it was the right color! i could watch this episode over and over. if LOWER DECKS ever makes a movie, fuck it, go live action baby! the entire cast would fucking kill it!
even noel wells, who didn't tip when i helped her at my last job. oh shit, we dropping real gossip on some kind of STAR TREK this week!
DISCOVERY
you know who wouldn't turn to the camera with a stupid look on their face if their entire crew and a whole town of civilians were kidnapped by the gorn?
captain michael fucking burnham.
enough said.
2023.08.17